Pop

This is weirdly satifying.

POP

Too much

It's just too much cute. I can't handle it.

Jobs

I just wrote five cover letters. They suck. I just want a job. Is it that hard? I like short sentences. Someone give me a job. I'm not qualified for anything. Oh well. Bum-ness it is.

I want a job please
I guess I have to grow up
Not ready for that

Job angst haiku. I win.

Happy note: I'm getting paid to write these cover letters, this blog, countless emails, and balance my checkbook. I win for having the cushiest college job ever.

Dolphins

This is the reason why I know I'm going straight to hell (well one reason among many):

A 30-year-old dolphin at Sea World has died after colliding with another dolphin while performing aerial tricks, the Orlando, Florida, amusement park said Monday.

"This is an unfortunate, random incident," Bides said in a written statement.
"While it is not unusual to have two animals performing aerial behaviors at the same time, we are reviewing the situation to ensure even such a random incident does not occur again."

I laughed when I read this. I'm kind of a horrible person. I just liked how they called it random like three times. Plus the dolphin's name was sharky and the one it ran into was named Tyler. Thats just funny. Sharky beat Tyler. Anyone? Bueller?

To the best of my knowledge this picture does not feature Sharky or Tyler.

TULIPS

My big adventure for the weekend? Tulips, lots and lots of tulips. Well in all honesty there were also daffodils. They were pretty too, but kinda dead. Apparently we missed the prime of the daffodils. The tulips were part of my "secret date" which is meant like the destination was secret, not the fact that we were on date. At least I think so ... crap. In any case, this was my last weekend with said boy being that he leaves for stupid Alaska until September. Who likes Alaska anyway? OK, here are a couple pictures of the insane amounts of flowers that I saw. You should be horrible impressed.

Yes the first picture is of a tiny cute little Asian boy running around in the flowers, the second is one of my artsy attempts at my favorite purple ones, and the last is of these two really hot people we saw walking around.

happy

This makes me happy, around one minute it gets really good:

contacts

I forgot the most amazing feeling in the world until yesterday morning at about 6:30. You guessed it, opening and then jamming into your eye, a new pair of contacts. I'm a cheap cheap lady so I wait a long time between opening new packs. I write down the date in my planner so that I won't open a new one too early and theoretically waste money. The last couple days I have not been able to see. It was painful putting them in, and I rushed home in the afternoons so that I could put on my glasses. But then, yesterday, yesterday morning, I bucked up and for the first time in eight long weeks, merely four weeks after I should have, and I opened a new pair of contacts. I can't even feel them! So much so that I fell asleep with them in, don't worry, I could feel them after that. So there you have it. If you ever want to really cheer me up, open me a new pair of contacts, it's quite possibly the best feeling in the world. (But don't open me a pair of MY contacts because thats just a waste ... and you don't know the date that I wrote in my planner!)

GROLAR bear

OK, so it's Alaska week on the Discovery channel (which is in my top five channels for sure, A&E, USA, NBC, BRAVO ... sometimes MTV and TLC ... OK it's more than five, but Discovery is high up there) and on the big opening night of the week they talked about bears. I love bears. I love POLAR bears, mostly because they look really cuddly and nice but they are mean little devils. I love them. They talked about this crazy hybrid of Polar and Grizzly bears which they called Prizzly bears. Clearly this is a lame name for such a freaking awesome bear. I have renamed it the GROLAR bear. Which you much pronounce with a really hard and rolling GROOOOO-lar bear. Way cooler.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/12738644/

it's early yet

So I just took a test. I did not prepare for it, in fact I shirked all responsibility, went over to the boys' house and watched TV, ate an entire pint of ice cream and just in general pretended that I didn't have an exam at 8:30. Well, I think it's pretty safe to say that I'm not confident in my performance. In fact I walked out of the room thinking, "so that's how it feels to get a solid C on a test. Well it isn't the first time, probably won't be the last." Then I realized that it COULD be the last! I'm graduating soon suckas! This very well could be the last time that I do marginally shitty on a test! Three bonus points for me.

Update on my cold!? Sure. I still have a head cold, complete with sniffles, attractive nose dripping, annoying horn blowing sound effects, and general nastiness. However, I have also evolved to sport a hacking cough complete with phlegmmy undertones. I'm a ball of sexual attraction. Also in reference to previous dirty clothes nose blowing mention, I chose a CLEAN t-shirt to sit by my bed to blow my nose on. I know you were curious.

If I were a dog, this is exactly how I would picture myself coughing. Also eerily similar to how I actually look ... when coughing.

Not OK

Ok before I start bitching about things I have one funny thing that happened at work today. A guy came in to pay a ticket and he had to fill out this little form so that I could waive one of his fees (because I'm that damn nice ... tell your friends). So he fills it out and then tears it off the pad, looks at me, and goes "do I take this, or do you keep it?" Why on earth would I have some guy fill out a form, just to keep it and do nothing with it?! People don't often think, this is quite possibly what makes my life a constant comedy, and occasionally a tragedy.

Sad news (in bullet form for simplicity and length):

• I bid farewell to my fake long term relationship Scotty. He has decided to leave me to become a grown up with a real job and crap. What a loser.
• I also bid farewell to miss Sandboney. She has also decided to leave me in search of grad school or some other such nonsense. Again ... what a loser.
• I bid farewell AGAIN to baby Gaby my little travel size friend. She has decided to leave me to live at home with her family, save money and then live the life of a grown up. Stop it.
• I bid farewell to a gentleman that I have been spending a great deal of time with lately. It sucks because he is leaving for five months at a really fun time in our relationship and I want to punch him in the head for this. He ALSO is leaving for a job. Since when are jobs cooler than me? I know I don't pay well (I really only pay is hugs and sarcasm) but I thought I had more of a draw than this!
• Sadly, I also had to bid farewell to one of my favorite and most inspirational professors while at Western. Last spring he disclosed to our class that was extremely tight knit that he had pancreatic cancer. He was incredibly up beat, planned to beat it, and kept right on teaching our class. This last Friday he lost his battle with cancer. He was an incredible asset to our department and many many people are being affected by his death. His memorial is this friday, and while I'm glad that I get to be there to celebrate his life, it's enormously difficult for me to think about his death.

Life all in all has been fab (I'm either in the 80's or a 15 year old girl right now) and I've been really happy. I ate an entirely too large chunk of salmon last night, enjoyed a delicious coffee this morning and get to see dear miss Em tonight who I have not seen in over a month. These things makes me happy. More snarky comments to come ...

My Powers

I finally figured out what my super power is. No it's not perfect comic timing (though I do posess it), no it's not the world's frizziest hair (though I also have that), it is knowing EXACTLY when I get sick. Yesterday I was sitting on my couch watching a really depressing documentary On Demand (Born into Brothels, if you're interested) and I sniffled. Just once. I knew what was up though. I now officially have a cold. I made sure to note the time of course, it was 3:17pm. At 3:17pm on April 20th, 2008 I got sick. It rapidly progressed, I was blowing my nose constantly enough to get the reaction of, "Jesus that cold hit you fast" from someone whom I had seen for the last like four days straight (those days are to be referred to as the 'pre-cold era'). It was no good. It also prompted me to wake up at 4:38am (I always look at the clock when I wake up at night) and shuffle myself to the end of my bed, grab some dirty laundry from the basket and blow my nose on it. Now for those who think thats gross, think about it. Not only am I saving paper from being used and discarded thus hurting the earth, but I'm also not using a hanky which just makes for MORE laundry which means MORE washing machine which is both MORE electricity and MORE soap. I'm such a freaking good environmentalist it's obscene. Not to mention that my dirty clothes basket is way closer to a tired sniffly me than the tissue in the bathroom. Go me. I hope to also be able to note the exact last time that I am sick.

Suck on it

I have found approximately 35 reasons in the last two days to say "suck on it" this is the most recent:

President Bush and first lady Laura Bush welcomed Pope Benedict XVI in an elaborate ceremony Wednesday morning on the South Lawn of the White House.

In remarks greeting the pope, Bush called the United States "a nation of prayer."

Bush was interrupted by applause as he said, "In a world where some treat life as something to be debased and discarded, we need your message that all human life is sacred and that each of us is willed."

Then he of course went and plotted how he could kill some more Iraquis in the next few days, cut social security and make everyone who ISN'T Christian feel like crap. Kudos. How long until he's gone again?